From Gifts of the Desert - Chapter 15
Primal Passions
"But is is bad to be self-reliant?" Patrick probably had in mind the
fact that self-reliance is a virtue celebrated from cradle to grave in American
culture.
"From the perspective of our ultimate destiny it is pathological if it
replaces faith in God and all trust is placed either in objects we possess or
in our own abilities and talents. In fact, I dare say it is a spiritual problem
when our heart is stuck not only on material objects and on our own abilities
but also on other people."
"Other people?" Helen asked with surprise.
"For example, 'I feel secure because my family is doing well.' Or as
people often tell me 'My husband is everything for me. If I lose him I will be
lost.' Or 'If I lose my girlfriend I will die because life will have no meaning
for me.' I hear these things in confessions all the time and I pray that they
may never, God forbid, lose each other."
Father Maximos continued on a more serious note. "I can understand
feeling grief and pain for the loss of a loved one, but why lose yourself in
the process?"
Father Maximos leaned back on his chair. "Again, the real tragedy is
when people invest all their hopes in whatever is transient and not
everlasting. It could be 'my husband,' 'my wife,' 'my children,' 'my work,' 'my
wealth,' 'my career.' I hear such statements and say to myself, and what's
going to happen to you, my dear, when those things you consider 'everything'
are taken away from you? You may lose your job, sooner or later you will lose
your wife or husband. Nothing in this world is permanent. Nothing human can
give us real rest and comfort. Only God, who is the base that cannot be shaken,
can do that. Yet you ignore God and invest all your hopes in that which is
finite. You are completely absorbed by your worldly pursuits.
"I will never forget when, several years ago, a man put an end to his
life," Father Maximos said with sadness in his face. "He believed his wife had
cheated on him and left behind a letter than she, heartbroken, brought to me
during confession. He wrote, 'For me life has no meaning anymore. From the
moment you betrayed me I could no longer bear this life.' I wept when I read
that letter and realized how much unhappiness was in the heart of that tragic
fellow. He based his entire existence on the love of his wife and on nothing
else. What was even more tragic was that his poor wife didn't betray him in
reality. But he believed that she did because of certain circumstances and the
bad-mouthing of others. There was no meaning in his life outside the
relationship with his wife.
"Can you realize how asphyxiating such a mind-set is? And I asked
myself, is it possible for a human being whose life is grounded in God to tell
another human being 'For me you are everything.' and 'If you cannot be with me
then life is meaningless.'? The answer of course must be a categorical no.
Within our sojourn toward God everything is appraised within our prospect for
union with God. No material or transient thing should interfere with that
journey.
Gifts of the Desert
Kyriacos C. Markides
p. 317-18
